User ID Login: Fun_Times_with_Taxes.
Do you want to continue where you left off last Tuesday in completing your taxes using this convenient electronic tax program? Yes.
Did you own a farm in 2014? No.
Were you a member of the military in 2014? No.
Did you buy anything (or things) in 2014? Yes.
Did you use cash to buy the thing (or things) in 2014? Once in a while.
Did you use a debit card or credit card in 2014? Of course (duh).
Did you pay interest, rent, taxes, stipends, finance charges, bank charges, dividends, IRA payments, alimony, IRA deductions, child support, and/or did you pay penalties for parking with your motor running in the Walmart crosswalk while waiting for a spouse or other family member to pick up a couple of groceries real quick? Yes.
Did you pay penalties for parking with your motor running in the Walmart crosswalk while waiting for a spouse or other family member to pick up prescription(s) and/or greeting card(s), excluding Valentine’s Day and/or Mother’s Day cards? Probably, I think so, yes.
How about Father’s Day? No.
Were you living in Santa Domingo in 2001? Not that I know of.
Did you buy non-GMO crackers manufactured in Colorado in the fourth quarter of tax year 2014? Not sure, probably not, but maybe so.
If you answered “But Maybe So” to the previous question, please subtract $49.50 from your estimated tax refund in line 17a on tax form BYE-9506-HA. Where? What form did you say?
If you answered “Definitely No,” please buy crackers before April 15, 2015, and pay an extra $49.50 directly to your local Walmart customer service desk. Yeah, okay.
Did you drive a car in 2014? Yes.
Do you expect to drive a car in 2015? Yes.
If you answered “Yes” to the previous two questions, please report all destinations or potential destinations on form WE-86-U. Walmart, church, work, gas station.
The Walmart on the east side or the Walmart on the west side? Usually the east side.
That’s too bad. You have forfeited your potential refund and now must pay the government $989.50 for wasting gas, and also for completing your tax form with answers that are insufficiently specific.
I’m moving to Santo Domingo.